3rd Edition

Start from the Bottom
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You should judge me. I judge me.

Probably just getting stale in there. I’ll get some fabreeze in a second….

Oh course I was thinking it.

O E O E O

ICE ICE ICE

 

From:
Sent: Thursday, April 17, 2014 9:21 AM
To:
Subject: RE:

In your chair? I’m judging you.

No it’s probably Pat’s office.  I don’t normally smell it, but I sure am smelling something, unless it’s something on me, but I don’t think so. Brrrrr it’s cold in here.

 

I said there must be some Toro’s in the atmosphere. 

 

I know you were thinking it.  I know you know I was thinking it.

 

From:
Sent: Thursday, April 17, 2014 9:16 AM
To:
Subject: RE:

I peed. J

 

Or it’s the ghosts of spilled lattes past

 

From:
Sent: Thursday, April 17, 2014 9:12 AM
To:
Subject: RE:

I hope so too, or I’m leaving.

 

Yikes.  What a bitch.  Not your fault she left you with no idea how you wanted things done.  No surprise Kathy has no idea how to talk to a client, doesn’t seem like she knows how to talk to her own client hah.  Oh boy, could be a long day for you.  Well, we’ve been here for 40 minutes at least?

I swear it smells like urine over here! What is the deal?! I certainly didn’t pee under my desk, so I’m at a loss.

Cereal time.

From:
Sent: Thursday, April 17, 2014 8:49 AM
To:
Subject: RE:

 

Kurt probably did… but hey at least there will be food? Right? Oh god I hope so?

 

*Betty is in a foul mood because of something I did while she was gone. I said something to a client which apparently I shouldn’t have said it that way, but that’s how *Katherine told me to say it and yeah, grain of salt, but what else was I supposed to do with her gone and *Debbie out? I said I was sorry, lets not take it out on me all day for the second day in a row.

From:
Sent: Thursday, April 17, 2014 8:44 AM
To:
Subject: RE:

So thanks, Gen, for letting me know that today will be just like every other, except you’ll use the excuse to attack my email with double. I think Pat’s office stinks today, I smell something over here.  I can’t believe we have meetings from 11:30 – 2:30.  What idiot made that plan? Aint nobody got time for that.

From:
Sent: Thursday, April 17, 2014 8:43 AM
To:
Subject: RE:

Yeah that seems to be status quo with her.

From:
Sent: Thursday, April 17, 2014 8:42 AM
To:
Subject:

 

So I’m not sure how what Genevieve just said is different than any other day…she just told me yesterday “Oh yeah, I didn’t even read this…”

 

2nd Edition

Start from the bottom... Work your way here. *Names have been changed the stupid, unfortuneate and disliked*

 

 

 

 

 

 

With my luck I would spill all over everything. again

From: 
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 4:48 PM
To:
Subject: RE:

Yes we should definitely go down there first.  We gotta figure out how to get those suckers in! Because now we kind of have to, I cant drink all three on the way there. 

From:
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 4:46 PM
To:
Subject: RE:

 

I’m still working. This is some sort of record.

Also the gates open at 5, so we should head down there first maybe?

After we figure out the beer situation. Why can’t we just drink in public. So much easier!

From:
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 4:41 PM
To:
Subject: RE:

Yeah I actually had two things full today which is some kind of record, and I’m about to go get more.  Really preppin.  Oh geeze.  You’re already having issues and we haven’t even started.

 

From:
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 4:37 PM
To:
Subject: FW:

I just sent that last email to myself. I need to leave now

 

From:
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 4:37 PM
To:
Subject: RE:

 

I’m drinking as much water as possible. I know it will probably be the last I drink in awhile.

 

From:
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 4:34 PM
To:
Subject: RE:

 

You are a mastermind.

 

From:
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 4:33 PM
To:
Subject: RE:

It’s 4:33.  I may or may not start buzzfeeding in roughly…seven minutes.

 

From:
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 4:24 PM
To:
Subject: RE:

I’m impressed. I did just clean my phone again for 10 minutes, but kel and steph are off work now and drinking already so they are texting me. It’s not fair.

 

From:
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 4:23 PM
To:
Subject: RE:

The fact that we’re still working right now, at 4:22 on a Friday, is really a testament to our work ethic.

 

From:
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 4:16 PM
To:
Subject: RE:

 

****Silent shoulder shake

 

Makenna Nystrom Propel Insurance
     206.695.6639 Direct

From:
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 4:16 PM
To:
Subject: RE:

 

“It’s alright I made a mess in my pants 6 hours ago.”

 

From:
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 3:37 PM
To:
Subject: RE:

Some juice she bought and she wants to take it back to Safeway and ask” if anyone actually drinks this shit” hahaha. It’s beet juice *Ashley* it’s going to taste like angels.

 

From:
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 3:36 PM
To:
Subject: RE:

About what this time?

 

From:
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 3:35 PM
To:
Subject: RE:

 

Fuck me. *Ashley* is whining in the kitchen again.

 

From:
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 3:34 PM
To:
Subject: RE:

 

My eyes just closed…

 

From:
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 3:08 PM
To:
Subject: RE:

 

You know, all we really need is regular, plastic water bottles for the other beers.  If we can just buy a couple and drink/dump the water, we can fill them with beer and hide them on our persons.  Or, we could just go get more of the water bottle things… they’re at bartells.

 

From:
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 3:05 PM
To:
Subject: RE:

 

I like this plan. I can shove it in my bra if need be.

 

From:
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 3:05 PM
To:
Subject: RE:

I DO have my water bottle thing here…

 

From:
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 3:05 PM
To:
Subject:

 

They use metal detector wands over “your person” and do a bag search. They are phasing in the use of walk through metal detectors. Sooo. It might not work.

Work Emails 1st Edition

Why on Earth do we not have a instant messaging system. It would save so much time. But them we couldn't Paper Wise it and keep it forever.

Well, in passing time in the insurance world, emails really do the trick.. especially if you don't want to be over heard.

We average 50+ emails a day back and forth and have a regular dialogue going on. I would like to share some of these choice emails...

Commence **Silent Shoulder Shake**

Please start and the bottom... Like Drake.

 

 

 

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Yeah I basically have fart asphyxiation.

 

TOOTS. All of the toots. Toots for days.

 

Policy checking and have very little training is frustration station. Nicole saw that I was clearly working hard on finding something in the policy, and comes up and goes :”oh so you’re policy checking…” Um yes. Go away now.

 

From: 
Sent: Friday, February 21, 2014 10:09 AM
To:
Subject: RE:

 

I actually just lol’d out that. And then had another little shoulder shaking laugh.  Which made me think about the fact we have “toots”. And then I burst into laughter and can’t stop the shoulder shaking kind.  And that started RIGHT as Peter walked by.  And now he wants to know what I’m laughing about. “SERIOUSLY IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU!” I could exactly go “Well I was thinking about toots.”

 

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA there I go again.

 

From:
Sent: Friday, February 21, 2014 10:06 AM
To:
Subject: RE:

 

Mike made me a smoothie last night. Half way through a giant glass of it I asked what was in it. MILK. MOTHER FUCKING MILK.

 

I feel you

 

From: 
Sent: Friday, February 21, 2014 10:05 AM
To:
Subject:

 

Between the coffee today and egg yolk last night…Worst. Farts. Ever. I’M SO SORRY EVERYONE. However as for the egg yolk shots, no regrets. 

FOMO

I got a degree in English and a minor in History (because I did't want to take Econ (ew)) and I wanted to be a high school teacher. I would probably die alone in my tiny stuffy apartment (since a teacher's salary blows, I would choke on a Lean Cusine dinner or be crushed to death under a mountain of shitty student papers. And then, but 30 cats would eat my dead body...

I need to stop watching so many crime shows on Netflix...

But seriously, I'm not a teacher now and at 25, I don't really even feel like much of an adult now.

The fear of missing out comes and goes. I want to be out there experiencing things, like a new happy hour hot spots while I flirt over sugary cocktails with a tall, dark and handsome stranger (who is not a rapist). But the reality is that I work in a (mostly) boring job, in an industry I never thought I would be in. I essentially live paycheck to paycheck and I'm far more comfortable in my sweat pants than in a LBD out flirting (which is also I skill I do not possess).

This is an experimental blog, where I can trap my thoughts and various misadventures of being a single female living in the city. Oh does that sounds like HBO's Girls? Good. Because I love that show.


Let the games begin...